remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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