glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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