Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
