I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
