dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My first STD was from a foam party
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hippo gnu deer
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
