I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize