All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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