I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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