Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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