You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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