I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
