as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wear drunk well.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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