There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
