Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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