capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
