A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize