ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
