I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
