Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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