How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
