im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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