i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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