Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
