hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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