I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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