I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
