are you still at the devil's house?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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