I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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