he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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