Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is wine microwaveable?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize