Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
