I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
someone owes me an orgasm
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
