You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
