Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
babies were throwing up all over the place
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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