Whod you bang
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
