she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
