He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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