how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
