Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.