my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..