There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Boobs are out for the taking
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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