After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
