garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
