Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
