Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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