sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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