Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
