Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
