from now on my penis is your penis
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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