Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I CAN MOONWALK!
honey bunches of taint.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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