Cold hands, warm shart.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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