where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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