i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
