I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Floor bacon is actually really good
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
