I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
