the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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