I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
