There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
