your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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