Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
