i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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