The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
