the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
