there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
