she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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