I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
