That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ugly people sure do ruin things
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is the high leading the old right now
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
