wat bout pragnant strippers??
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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