how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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