she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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