Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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